EVA JOINS THE MIF – AND SAVES BOTH OF HER COUNTRIES – AT ONE AND THE VERY SAME TIME TO BOOT!
 
1) THE MISSION IS PITCHED
 
At the opening of this daydream of Henke´s we find ourselves in a medium-sized meeting room. The room has nada windows – but it is very well lit, thank you, by fluorescent lights in the ceiling. The date is some day or other in February of the year 2016.
 
A middle-aged man is sitting at the head of a large rectangular table. Judging by his physical appearance he is obviously a government bureaucrat. He opens the proceedings. He is addressing three younger men sitting one each on the other three sides of the table.
 
Alan (the bureaucrat):
 
“Well, men. We´ve run into a problem just a few days ago!”
 
Ethan (the youngish-looking and handsome Caucasian guy):
 
“Oh – Alan! Please don´t say the Apostles are still closer to acquiring those nukes the rumours tell us they are hellbent on getting themselves? Our team hasn´t had time yet to train sufficiently for that game-changing mission in Berlin!”
 
Luther (the beefy black guy with a deep voice):
 
“Alan! I need more time to crack the Apostles´ internal communication system! Their encryption is a b-tch!”
 
Benji (the little Caucasian guy who speaks with a mild British accent and looks like a pansy):
 
“Hey – guys! What kind of talk is this? We´re supposed to be the tough guys – aren´t we? Who are we to say die before we´ve even started? We´re supposed to do the impossible! As a matter of routine, no less! I´m almost beginning to become ashamed on behalf of the whole team right now – with all this talk worthy of a bunch of pussies!”
 
Ethan:
 
“Hey, Benji! Who´re you calling a pussy? If you were my own size, I might just – just . . . ”
 
Luther:
 
“Benji! Benji! You better watch your mouth! I´m warning you!”
 
Alan:
 
“Guys, guys! Calm down for Christ´s sake! It isn´t like the end of the world is nigh! Our problem isn´t a big one – the problem I was talking about has nothing to do with the Apostles. Our problem right now is closer to home. It´s those clowns inside the beltway again. They want us to deal with a pathetic drug smuggling ring!”
 
Ethan, Luther and Benji in unison – while doing a collective face palm:
 
“Oh no! Drug smugglers! Can´t the FBI deal with that? Us MIF guys have much more important things to do! Like saving the world!”
 
Alan:
 
“I know how you feel, guys. But this drug smuggling ring is a special case. It ain´t just a gang of common criminals. It´s a totalitarian government this time! And the drugs in question are thought to be some new-fangled weird-ass premium value-added fentanyl! Obama believes that if this stuff hits the streets in our inner cities - it could very well amount to Armageddon for America! Obama insists that we - the MIF specifically - deal with this problem. Because we are the best of the best of the best!”
 
Ethan:
 
“You said a totalitarian government was behind this “value-added fentanyl”? Which totalitarian government, specifically, were you referring to, Alan?”
 
Alan:
 
“Cough, cough. Errr – well – you know – that is – Cuba, actually!
 
Ethan:
 
“Oh no! You can´t be serious, boss! Cuba – that tin pot-dictatorship – I mean, that tin foil hat-dictatorship? Down in the Caribbean? Are we now supposed to expend our precious time on a wild drug chase down there of all places? All the while that the Apostles are planning to perpetrate nukes on our entire frigging planet? This is insane!
 
”No offense intended sir! But still. Sir, I mean!”
 
Alan: “Ethan! Must I point out to you that fentanyl is heavy business! And this new stuff ain´t no garden variety of plain vanilla fentanyl. That stuff was bad enough! But this threat we´re faced with now is thought to be some new-fangled super-charged version of fentanyl. Which means it could destroy America! Imagine – a nation of 250 million frigging junkies!
 
Benji: “Hey – boss! I noticed you said that the drugs in question are `thought to be´ some sort of super-charged version of fentanyl? Doesn´t your way of expressing yourself imply that the intelligence is uncertain? Or something like that? Have the Feds in fact intercepted any of this `new-fangled super-charged version of fentanyl´? And tested it? Huh?”
 
Alan:
 
“Surely you guys know by now how the intelligence game works? Usually, we don´t have the good luck of being blessed with an opportunity to act on certain, smoking-gun type evidence of what the bad guys are up to. For instance, our intelligence on the Apostles tells us merely that more likely than not the nuke transfer will occur in a few months in Berlin.
 
“Now what about the Cuba/fentanyl quandary I was talking about? Our analysts have been obliged by necessity to put numerous pieces of a puzzle together – consisting of several different individual reports of goings-on in the shade from field agents. And the unanimous conclusion of FBI´s analysts is that nothing – but nothing – excepting some super-potent narcotic drug can explain certain suspicious goings-on. It comes down to this, guys. An awful lot of cash – physical money I mean – has recently been flowing from the streets of America to Cuba. And I am talking about lots of money! We are talking billions of dollars per month – not mere millions!
 
“Now, honestly guys – how do we explain massive cash movements like that unless we assume that some super-potent dope is flowing from some secret lab in Cuba into America and hitting the streets of our inner cities?
 
“And – no. We have not intercepted any of the poison yet and tested/analysed it! But – get real guys! The money does the talking. It just has to be super-charged dope!”
 
Ethan:
 
Well, Alan. You know the drill! The drill has always – in the entire history of MIF - been `Should you choose to accept this mission . . .´ Us agents sure remember that – and so do you, Alan! Right guys?”
 
Luther and Benji in a chorus:
 
“Hell yeah! We sure ain´t gonna choose to waste our efforts and talents on a wild drug chase, boss! We possess self-esteem, for Chrissake!”
 
Alan:
 
“Well, I´m sorry to hear that, guys! Because Obama has already approved a truly generous pay package for you guys – should you choose to step up to the plate. The `job´ will be to sneak into Cuba, infiltrate the lab which produces the drug and blow the entire place to smithereens! Right up your alley! And guys – can you guess how much money Obama is dangling before your eyes?”
 
Ethan, Luther and Benji just sit and stare at Alan. They are tongue-tied!
 
Alan continues:
 
“A cool one billion dollars. One cool billion dollars! Split evenly between whichever small number of MIF agents pull off this job!”
 
Ethan:
 
“Wellll, boss! If you put it that way . . . !“
 
Luther:
 
“You can count me in . . . !”
 
Benji:
 
“Aw - who am I to say no thank you to that kind of money . . . ?”
 
Ethan:
 
“But - boss? How in the world can the POTUS offer us that kind of money? Off budget - I mean? Where in the world does the POTUS get that kind of money?”
 
Alan:
 
“He makes deals on the side - but of course! He´s a mixed economy politician, you know! Haven´t you guys noticed that the oil and gas-drillers in the shale sector have been making out like gang-busters, lately? Can you guys even imagine that the POTUS would have cut those filthy peddlers of fossil fuels any breaks without getting something substantial in return?
 
“And what about those hundreds-of-billions-of-dollars-on-a-silver-platter bailouts to the Wall Street bankers? Surely you don´t imagine that our esteemed POTUS would have missed such a golden opportunity to shake down those fat cats? Do you?
 
“So! Yeah guys! The money you´re being offered is for real! Surely you guys are not going to turn down this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for the sake of mere moral considerations? I mean guys, guys – c´mon ! You´re supposed to be smart secret agents – not chumps!”
 
The secret meeting ended with Ethan, Luther and Benji accepting the `impossible mission´!
 
But of course! `Same procedure as last year´ and all that!
 
2) THE MISSION PLANNING BEGINS
 
Again, we find ourselves observing a meeting of MIF agents. This time around, however, there are only three guys involved. Also, the room is not a conventional meeting room. Instead - it is part and parcel of a very physical training centre. For – this is an MIF para-military base! However, right now, the three guys are not training. No - they are planning.
 
Ethan:
 
“OK, guys. Let´s review our preliminary intelligence. We don´t have much to work with. Except our “eyes in the sky” indicate that there seems to be some mighty suspicious activity right here.”
 
Ethan is pointing at a point encircled in the red marking left by a felt pen around a birds-eye view photo of a large concrete structure in the middle of nowhere – nowhere at the edge of a bay on the eastern end of the island of Cuba.
 
Ethan:
 
“Notice that there are nada residential structures anywhere near that big concrete building. It´s just a great big concrete structure out in the boondocks of easternmost Cuba. Why is it there? And, guys – the interesting question is - what goes on inside that structure?”
 
Luther: “You think it might be the dope factory, Ethan?”
 
Ethan:
 
“Well guys. FBI agents have tailed suspicious individuals from some of the known dope distribution hubs in a few of our American inner cities. The trail left by those suspected drug couriers led to a certain area in the harbour district of Pensacola. And our “eyes in the sky” detected a major amount of boat traffic between just that harbour district in Pensacola and the waterfront right in front of this here concrete structure on the eastern tip of Cuba.
 
“It sure as heck looks very much like something is being shipped out from said concrete structure to Pensacola – and then distributed by a small army of couriers from Pensacola to the streets of our inner cities. And it stands to reason that money flows in the exactly opposite direction – the return direction. It´s a strong bet that this big concrete structure is our target, guys!”
 
Luther:
 
“Are there any electronic defences I need to crack and render ineffective?”
 
Ethan: “The only way to find out is for us to pay a visit to the structure and see what happens when we try to get in!”
 
Luther:
 
“Sounds mighty dangerous to me, guys!”
 
Ethan:
 
“Well, duh! Why is our name Mission Impossible Force? C´mon Luther! Since when, has it been a problem for us that everything we do is dangerous?”
 
Benji:
 
“I´ve seen the video footage of the activities around the outside of that structure taken through the periscopes of our scout submarines lurking offshore, out in the bay. And – I conclude that getting past all those guards around the perimeter won´t be easy. And penetrating that concrete structure in the absence of any intel about the layout inside will be a real b-tch!”
 
Ethan:
 
“I´ve already devoted thought to that consideration, Benji. And – the conclusion I´ve come to, given said thinking – is that we will need to add a fourth member to our assault team. A member - who can go in first and open up a way for us to get in!
 
“And it´s going to have to be a female! Because we´ll have to resort to the so-called `honeypot´ tactic! You see guys – all those numerous individual people who go in and out of that concrete structure pass through one, just one, single door. And our submarine scouts have observed a regular pattern in that traffic. Every single day of the week – excepting Sundays – lots and lots of young women enter the structure through that door in the morning. And every single day – again, except for Sundays – all those young women troop out from said building in the evening. So, they must be the workforce.
 
“Now, those female workers must all be equipped with some sort of ID thingies. But we don´t know how the heck those IDs are configurated – and we can´t afford the risk of tipping off our adversaries by dint of getting noticed while trying to steal an example of those IDs. So that we can reverse engineer a phony ID for our own female agent.
 
“So - our female agent will have to get in by means of subterfuge. She will have to be a real drop-dead gorgeous sexpot! She´ll have to start by sneaking up on the shore not far from the building by means of swimming in from our mini-sub with a snorkel. Then she´ll have to move sneakily in towards the entrance to the structure. She will be detected by a guard a few times – but if we select a cold-nerved b-tch for this mission she´ll manage to take out each such guard silently. Her tactic will be to distract the guards in question – who will be, but of course, males in their prime – with her feminine charms. And she will be equipped with tranquilizer darts! Which she can prick the guards with when she pretends to put her `amorous´ arms around them.
 
“Once she´s inside, the mission will depend on her ability to improvise under stress. So that she can succeed at the vital task of messing up whatever security measures they have on the inside. So that us three will be able to storm in with the explosives in tow!
 
“Should be a cinch, guys!”
 
Benji:
 
“Great, Ethan! We can call in Jane again. She sure proved her worth in Mumbai last time!”
 
Ethan:
 
“Nix, Benji! Cuba is a Latin American country. So - we´ll need a Latino broad who can pass as a local in Cuba. And Jane sure doesn´t walk or talk like a Latino! And I´ve already checked our assets file. We ain´t got one single young female Latino beauty amongst us whom we can rely on for this job. So - we´ll have to recruit fresh blood guys!”
 
Luther(bewildered):
 
“But Ethan! The broad will have to be up to the task of physically neutralizing a load of – who knows, maybe a dozen – tough as nails and, also, armed - male guards. We´re going to need a broad who can fight!
 
“There´s simply no way we can take in a broad off the street and train her to our high standards in just a few weeks! It just won´t work – goshdarnit!”
 
Ethan:
 
“I´ve got that covered, Luther! Have you noticed how many super-violent action movies Hollywood spews forth every single year, nowadays? Have you? Huh?”
 
Benji:
 
“What the heck does that have to do with our problem, Ethan? Surely, we´re not going to recruit some spoiled-rotten glamour-queen diva from Hollywood for this mission?”
 
Ethan:
 
“That´s just exactly what we´re going to do! Well, I mean – we won´t recruit a spoiled-rotten glamour-queen, that is. But – Luther and Benji – haven´t you guys noticed by now, how there´s this trend in Hollywood nowadays? All the truly ambitious actors and actresses in the action genre do most of their own stunts nowadays! There´s a respectable number of actors and actresses in Hollywood these days who know quite a few tricks! I bet you that we can take a female Hollywood actress who´s already learned how to do lots and lots of her own stunts – and we can whip her into our kind of shape in a matter of weeks! Mark my word, guys!
 
“So – guys! Any suggestions? Any tough Latino broads in Hollywood come to mind?”
 
Luther:
 
“Wellll - hows about Salma Hayek? Hasn´t she done some action movies? Savages and Once Upon a Time in Mexico, for example?”
 
Ethan:
 
“Maybe. Just maybe. But Hayek hails from Mexico. And we want a broad who blends in with the human background in Cuba, specifically. Let´s keep looking, guys!”
 
Benji:
 
“How about Penelope Cruz? She had a prominent role in the action flick Vanilla Sky . . .”
 
Ethan:
 
“Oh yeah! I think I remember that one! That sure does ring a bell - for some reason!”
 
Benji:
 
“And Cruz was in action movies like Sahara - and Bandidas – playing across Salma Hayek! - and she was in the fourth instalment in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Yeah – Penelope Cruz sure has action movie credentials!”
 
Ethan:
 
“But Cruz is a Spaniard, Benji. So – strictly speaking, she´s not a Latino. For – she´s not from the Western Hemisphere. And – I say that close, but not touching, just doesn´t cut it. Sorry Benji!”
 
Luther:
 
”Oh! Oh! Ethan! I just thought of a great one! Eva Mendes!”
 
Ethan:
 
“Eva who? Don´t know who you´re talking about, Luther!”
 
Luther:
 
“Eva Mendes – she´s a rising star in Hollywood who had a major role in the second instalment in the Fast and Furious franchise. And get this, Ethan! Eva Mendes was almost born in Cuba! Her parents were Cubans who fled to Miami in a boat shortly before she was born. That makes her a Latino with a Cuban background – doesn´t it?”
 
Ethan:
 
“Wellll. That line of reasoning seems a bit of a stretch to me . . .”
 
Benji:
 
“Hey, guys! I just remembered something. Eva Mendes had a pretty darn significant role in Once Upon a Time in Mexico – that action flick with Salma Hayek! You know – I think that this Eva Mendes broad does in fact have some major action movie actress credentials! I say – Eva Mendes is our girl!
 
Ethan:
 
“OK, guys! OK. I´m not going to be a dork who rains on that kind of a parade of enthusiasm. I´ll establish contact with Eva Mendes right away. Discretely! Feelers – you know!
 
“I´ll get in touch with you guys as soon as my recruitment of this Eva Mendes broad has been completed - and then our mission training together can begin!”
 
The meeting of the three elite MIF agents breaks up.
 
On the way out Benji remarks to Luther:
 
“That´s just so typical! Ethan´s such a jock! He simply cannot conceive of the possibility that a good-looking broad might turn him down. That eventuality just doesn´t exist in his private corner of the universe!”
 
Luther just chuckles as they walk out. Ethan pretends not to overhear them – and then chuckles contentedly to himself!
 
3) THE MISSION BEGINS
 
Four unobtrusive snorkels are poking up through the surface of the water. We see the snorkels slowly, oh-so-slowly get closer and closer to the shoreline. The beach happens to be deserted. The sun blazes in the sky and a few sea gulls hover overhead.
 
When the snorkels are just ten yards from the beach – a periscope pokes up from the water – and scans the beach. The diver sees that all is clear, emerges from the water and wades ashore. He signals to his fellow three snorkelers – and they also wade ashore. The three men and one woman swiftly remove the fins from their feet and take off their visors. They lose no time hauling their stuff and themselves into the foliage a way in from the Cuban shoreline.
 
We see that the three men are none other than Ethan, Luther and Benji. And the woman is none other than Eva Mendes making her debut as an MIF agent! The agents hide the equipment which they cannot carry on their bodies under a camouflage net. They proceed to make their way – ever so carefully - towards the large concrete structure a bit to the west along the side of the bay.
 
They pause and check out the building, from a distance of about eighty yards. They are hidden by the trees. A dirt road leads from the big entrance at the front of the structure down to the water - where there is an area which is evidently intended for loading cargo onto boats. At the side of the building there is a door just large enough to admit single individuals, one at a time.
 
Our quartet waits a few minutes and observe that every now and then a woman arrives on a bicycle, parks the bike in a bicycle parking stand and passes through the door. The women evidently need to show IDs to the guard standing outside the door.
 
Ethan quietly addresses Eva:
 
“OK, Eva. We´ve gone through your procedure during the mission training – so you know what to do. Time to try out your radio com one last time for safety´s sake.”
 
Eva (through the radio com to Ethan):
 
“Testing. Testing. Can you read me, Ethan?”
 
Ethan:
 
“Loud and clear, Eva. You can go for it now! The mission is on!”
 
Initially, Eva sneaks off silently into the trees, away from the beach. 250 yards inland she takes a set of dry clothes out of her sack - and dons them. Subsequently, when she has moved about 500 yards inland, she turns to the left – and moves towards the dirt road. She is carrying a small, lightweight, foldable bicycle. At the edge of the road, Eva looks both ways to check that no one is presently approaching.
 
Since the road happens to be empty Eva quickly assembles her bicycle and rides it towards the big concrete building. Eva alights from her bicycle outside the entrance which seems to be for personnel.
 
The guard greets her:
 
“Are you Maria? Well - you´d better hurry up, girl! The bosses will dock your wages if you´re even half a minute late!”
 
Eva improvises and utters a curt:
 
“Right! I´m on it!”
 
Eva hurries in through the door. The guard doesn´t even bother to demand any ID. Once she´s inside, Eva addresses Ethan over the communication device:
 
“Ethan. I´m inside the building now!”
 
Ethan:
 
“What do you see, Eva?”
 
Eva:
 
“Just a long, dimly lit corridor into the bowels of this building. I guess I´ll have to just go right in and see where the corridor leads.”
 
Ethan:
 
“Courage, Eva! Courage. Keep your nerves under control.”
 
Eva:
 
“No sweat, Ethan!”
 
Ethan to Benji and Luther:
 
“She´s in! No snafus so far. Remember guys! If Eva gets into trouble – it´s our responsibility to create a big diversion. Let´s set up the explosives right now!”
 
Ethan, Benji and Luther split up and mount high explosives at various sensitive points around the big concrete building – radio antennas, ventilation vents, power supply cables and the like.
 
Meanwhile, inside the building – Eva follows the corridor deep into the building. She comes to an intersection of the entry corridor with another, perpendicular corridor. The intersection seems deserted – even though there is an (empty) booth there, a booth which was clearly intended for a guard. Eva stops for a minute, considers her options - and decides to just plunge ahead. She crosses the intersection and proceeds still deeper into the bowels of the building.
 
The corridor continues a way. But after roughly twenty yards, in Eva´s estimate, the corridor ends. With a door. Eva tests the door carefully. It opens into a big space which is sort of like an arena. The door is located at the back and top of one side of the arena. The door is evidently intended to be a way for the crowd in the arena to get out in the event of a fire. Eva notices that she´s in luck. For no one in the crowd on the benches below, and in front of her, has noticed her presence.
 
She carefully, in a low voice, reports back to Ethan what she sees.
 
Eva:
 
“Ethan, Ethan – are you there? Ethan?”
 
Ethan (over the communication device):
 
“I read you, Eva! Distinctly. Please report what you see!”
 
Eva:
 
“Ethan – our intelligence was all wrong! The Cubans aren´t grabbing themselves mountains of money by means of peddling drugs to America´s youth at all. They must have figured out that they can pull in even more money by means of peddling pornography to the American people! This big concrete building – it´s not a drug manufacturing site, Ethan. It´s a great, big studio for producing porn videos!
 
“Right now - I´m standing at the top of an arena. There are loads and loads of lights and cameras along the sides of this arena. And the cameras are all focused on the `action´ in the centre of the arena. And can you guess what said `action´ consists of? There´s this guy sitting on a chair with a good-looking young broad lying across his lap – and he´s spanking her on her bare bottom! The Communists were not so utterly dumb after all! The bastards were able to figure out that BDSM-related porn is even more lucrative than the conventional stuff!
 
“And - there´s even an audience in the rafters watching this farce! This is perverted! It´s sick! There´s a macho type of guy down in the centre of the arena – and he´s whacking the bare bottom of a young, helpless female victim! This is a BDSM-style porn operation, Ethan! I swear! I´m not putting you on, Ethan!
 
“Hey! Wait a minute, Ethan. That elderly guy in the audience with the khakis and the moustache and the scraggly beard – I think I recognize him. Oh yeah – it is him! In person. The bastard! Hey – I got an idea, Ethan! Gotta go now!”
 
Ethan:
 
“What are you talking about? Eva – don´t do anything rash. Wait! Me and Luther and Benji will have to put our heads together and think up a plan concerning how to deal with this unexpected development.”
 
Eva:
 
“Ethan! Have you forgotten? We´re the MIF, for Chrissake! Planning my ass! We´re supposed to improvise off the top of our heads. And that´s exactly what I´m going to do right now! Over and out!”
 
Eva backs off into the corridor behind the door – and quietly closes the door behind her. So far – none of the Cubans are the wiser.
 
Eva returns to the intersection which she passed on her way in. But she finds that there is a guard now – occupying the booth. Eva does some quick thinking and addresses the guard:
 
“Hey, there - my man. Evidently you left your post unattended for the sake of taking a leak or a smoke. Well – guess what? You´re in luck. If you don´t report me for going in there to the fire escape door - and peeking into the arena. If you do me that favour - then in exchange, I won´t report you for abandoning your post! Deal?”
 
The guard knots his brow with worry. Then grasps with relief that he isn´t screwed after all – and so he replies to Eva:
 
“Deal, senorita! You haul your butt over to the changing room right now - pronto for Chrissake! You know how our bosses will all be pissed if you arrive late!”
 
Eva rushes down the arm of the perpendicular corridor to the left – for that was the direction in which the guard had pointed.
 
Soon, Eva finds herself in a locker room – filled with nubile young Latino females like herself. A middle-aged matron type addresses Eva:
 
“Hey! You´re not Maria! Who the heck are you?”
 
Eva:
 
“Maria tripped while descending the stairs at home yesterday evening – and sprained her ankle. So - she sent me instead. I´m her sister – Eva!”
 
The matron:
 
“Well – you certainly are good-looking enough. You´ll do just fine! But hurry up – strip quickly and prepare to enter the arena. It´s your turn next!”
 
Eva does as she´s told. And steels herself for the act of dare-devilry which she is anticipating!
 
4) THE MISSION DEVIATES FROM THE PLAN
 
The matron suddenly opens the door leading into the arena. Eva is almost overwhelmed by the roar of the crowd which washes in. But Eva steels herself some more and strides defiantly into the arena. But – instead of doing what she is expected to do – instead of going over to the disciplinarian man seated on a chair in the middle of the arena – in the centre of the spotlights and the cameras – Eva swings around in mid-stride – and scans the faces of the crowd sitting in the rafters. And selects her victim!
 
Eva pauses – eying her prey - and then pounces! With a brief series of giant steps Eva rushes up the rafters towards the man with the moustache and the scraggly beard. In a flash Eva reaches him, grabs him around the waist – and hauls him bodily right down into the centre of the arena! Then Eva shoves the disciplinarian man off the chair, sits herself down in it – and proceeds to go through with the plan she came up with - and so ungenerously refrained from sharing with Ethan - two or three minutes previously.
 
Meanwhile – Ethan, Luther and Benji have snuck into the concrete building. They are now sneaking forward in the long corridor leading into the bowels of the building.
 
Ethan:
 
“This sucks! Insubordination in the MIF. In the middle of a mission no less! Eva is going to have a lot of explaining to do when this mission is over!”
 
Luther:
 
“What if it´s not insubordination? What if Eva had gotten captured and was under duress when she communicated with you over the radio, Ethan? We shouldn´t be too quick to judge Eva.”
 
Benji:
 
“We need to remember that now Eva is in fact a member of our team. So - we need to concentrate on the task of rescuing her – if she is indeed in trouble!”
 
Luther:
 
“And as for that insubordination during a mission thing, Ethan! Who amongst us is fit to cast the first stone? I seem to recall more than one act of insubordination during past missions which all three of us were complicit in. What about that time we did the ghost protocol thing after our visit to the Kremlin got us screwed? That was insubordination cubed!”
 
Ethan:
 
“Quiet guys! There´s a guard up ahead whom I need to take out. Don´t distract me!”
 
Ethan proceeds to silently takes out the guard.
 
Ethan:
 
“OK, guys. The guard is knocked out. My educated guess is that we should go straight forward and see what´s deeper in the interior of this building. C´mon!”
 
So - Ethan, Luther and Benji sneak forward further until they come to the fire escape door. They open the door ever so carefully for the sake of being quiet and remaining undetected.
 
Ethan checks out the arena beneath them with a pair of small binoculars. And – he can hardly believe his eyes!
 
Ethan:
 
“That frigging b-tch! Eva´s defected! She´s joined the porn operation. She must have fallen for the temptation of getting herself a share of those Cuban Commies´ loot! Well – Eva will be facing a court-martial when we get home after this mission is over. Mark my word!”
 
Unfortunately – Ethan raises his voice too much in his anger. The Cubans sitting lower down in the rafters in front of the MIF trio notice them and began complaining about the noise Ethan just had made.
 
The Cubans (speaking in the Spanish language, but of course):
 
“Hey, you jerks! Quiet down. You´re spoiling everything! We want to hear our leader´s pathetic bawling and wailing! Keep quiet, for Chrissake!”
 
What the heck was going on? Well, down in the centre of the arena, Eva was seated on the chair which was in the focal point of the spotlights and the cameras. And she was spanking a bare-bottomed male figure with all her heart and all her might! Smack, smack, smack! And - the male figure was bawling and wailing - like a little baby having a nervous breakdown!
 
At first Ethan and Luther and Benji did not have a clue about what was happening. But they found out in due course. Eva continued giving the pitiable male figure the spanking of his life for just five more minutes. Time after time Eva´s heavy right hand smacked the moustached male´s rapidly reddening bare bottom.
 
Eventually it evidently is enough. The crowd assembled in the rafters around the arena breaks out in applause. The applause, and the cheering, is deafening. Eva stands up from the chair and take a bow. The male whom she had been spanking crawls under a blanket which was lying on the floor next to the chair. Apparently, the guy – who is none other than Cuba´s leader Raul Castro - is hiding himself in shame!
 
Ethan (questioning one of the Cubans in the audience):
 
“Sir! What the heck has just happened down there?”
 
The Cuban in the audience:
 
“You don´t know what just happened there, Senor? Are you comatose? This was `The Liberation´ that just happened. That´s what! Our dictator is no more! Our tyrant – Raul Castro – he will never survive this embarrassment. Not a chance! It´s a miracle, Senor!
 
“Here we were just fifteen minutes ago. Witnessing still another one of those deplorable spanking fetish porn videos being produced. You know – the porn which our Communist rulers peddle to the perverts in America. For the sake of financing the dictatorship´s secret police apparatus.
 
“But just fifteen minutes ago a miracle happened. You see that beautiful Senorita down there in the centre of the arena? Just fifteen minutes ago she entered the arena - for it was her turn to get her bare bottom whacked in service of our Communist masters. But you know what she did? She turned on our master – that sicko Raul – who was in the audience because he gets off on the sight of attractive females being beaten on their bare bottoms! That heroic female turned on him! Instead of just passively laying herself down over the lap of the intended disciplinarian in the centre of the arena.
 
“She turned around, rushed up into the rafters, grabbed Raul and dragged him down with her to the spanking chair in the centre of the arena. And she tugged down Raul´s trousers to his ankles – and began spanking the hell out of him!
 
“And can you guess what that oh-so-proud-and-powerful Castro guy did when the Senorita began spanking him? He bawled and wailed just like a wee little bambino! And this was happening in a porn studio there were live cameras and microphones. Lots and lots of them. So - everything that happened was captured on tape.
 
“Now all that remains to be done is to distribute copies of the recorded action all over Cuba – and the rest of the world. When everyone sees our leader, `Mr. Big´, being spanked on his bara botty by a woman – a woman! And `Mr. Big´ crying like a pathetic baby instead of taking it like a man. He will be laughed out of power forever and ever! Hoorah!
 
“So – senor. You see – this has been the `Spanking Which Liberated Cuba´! And all thanks to that angel down there on the floor of the arena!
 
“Oh my! Look! We´re in luck! That angel is climbing up the rafters. In our direction! She´s coming towards us!
 
“Oh! Thank you – blessed senorita! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!”
 
Eva:
 
“You´re most welcome – my good man!”
 
Ethan:
 
“Congratulations, Eva! The court-martial is off! You´re going to get a medal instead!”
 
Eva:
 
“Court-martial? Whatever on Earth are you on about, Ethan?
 
“Oh, by the way. I think that we had better go over to the control room of this porno production operation for the sake of having a word with the people in charge. Just to check that the valuable work I did a few minutes ago gets the right kind of follow-up. After all – we don´t want my recent achievement to be squandered – do we?”
 
Ethan:
 
“Absolutely, Eva! We had better have a word with the `new management´ here in Cuba about what happens next!”
 
So – the four MIF agents amble over to the control room high up in the rafters to the left. They find the new “management” in high spirits. The man who seems to be the boss – he was apparently the producer of the porn videos – gives the MIF agents a hearty welcome after they explain who they are.
 
The producer:
 
“Cheers – dear Yanquis! Heroes of our brand new revolution! Raul is no more. We must celebrate.
 
“Please have some of this – our very best Cuban rum! Oh, you dear lady. The heroic spanking queen! Can I make a deal with you?”
 
Eva, grinning:
 
“What kind of a deal?”
 
The producer:
 
“A business deal, but of course! Would a cut of 50% of the royalties on the video sales – in the entirety of the international market – i.e. outside of Cuba? Would that be agreeable to you?
 
“And – is it OK with you if we distribute this video to the people of Cuba for free – as an educational service? As a lesson in morality? You can guess the lesson? Crime doesn´t pay - but of course!
 
“Oh, by the way. Is there any chance you guys and you gal could help us arrange some international distribution? Us Cubans – we don´t have much in the way of contacts in the international porn business, you see.”
 
Ethan:
 
“Oh, sure - dear friend! Our boss, Alan, he has a friend in Washington. A Republican senator from Texas. This Republican senator has connections with the Lone Star BDSM-related porn outfit of Texas fame. They´re a big player in the spanking fetish porn video business. I´m sure they could be able to move the goods for you!”
 
The producer:
 
“Thank you, sir! Thank you. So – we have a deal?”
 
Ethan and Eva (in unison):
 
“We sure do!”
 
Ethan, Eva, Luther and Benji down their glasses of the best rum in Cuba, shake hands with the producer and then say their good-byes. As they leave – they notice a scrawny figure huddling in a corner, hiding his face and crying softly. They realize – not without some satisfaction – that the pathetic figure is none other than the once-proud Raul Castro!
 
“Oh, how the once mighty have fallen!” Eva thinks to herself as she leaves. She feels all warm and fuzzy inside.
 
SAVOURING THE VICTORY
 
The quartet of MIF agents don´t even have to do any sneaking for the sake of getting back to their extraction point on the beach outside the big concrete structure. The Cuban soldiers even cheer for them as they set off for the sake of returning to Pensacola!
 
Back in MIF headquarters Alan is full of praise for Eva after the team had been debriefed. Eva is a real heroine! For a day – that is.
 
Eventually Eva learns how the intelligence establishment in Washington works. She – the gal – she had done all the heavy lifting. But Ethan – the guy – gets the medal!
 
This was America after all. The land of all-American alpha males. And “feminine” females! Females are not supposed to be tough! Toughness is for real men exclusively!
 
"Or is it?
 
The medal is pinned on Ethan´s chest in front of a big crowd in an auditorium. After the medal-pinning-on-the-proud-male-chest ceremony – as they walk out of a now empty auditorium – and they are alone - Ethan grabs Eva´s elbow! Ethan seems to have something on his mind.
 
Ethan:
 
“Eva. I want to apologize for that farce in the auditorium. I know full well that the medal should have gone to you! Sometimes my fellow males in the secret agent subculture make me feel ashamed of being a male – like them! Hey Eva. I have some things on my mind! Do you think we could go somewhere – perhaps to a café here in the neighbourhood? Some discreet place where we could talk in private – over a cuppa? Please?”
 
Eva:
 
“Well – sure Ethan. I don´t harbour any hard feelings towards you just because you got the medal - which should have been mine. I know it wasn´t your decision. And it would have done more harm than good if you had said no thank you to the medal. No matter how eloquently you tried to explain to the brass why the medal properly belonged to me. Hey – you know what Ethan – I really like you!”
 
Ethan:
 
“You do? You really do? You´re not just saying that to make me feel better?”
 
Eva:
 
“Ethan! I would never lie to a friend for the sake of making him feel better. For – I know that a white lie would backfire – and eventually wind up making both him and me feel worse.
 
“Hey Ethan! Let´s save the serious talking until we get to a café. Where we can talk without any risk of being overheard!”
 
Said and done.
 
Except that it was too late! For - Ethan and Eva had already been both seen and overheard – by Luther and Benji! For – they had been leaving the auditorium also – and they had happened to have been walking not so far behind their two comrades. So, they were able to both see, and hear, their comrades converse.
 
Luther:
 
“How do you like that, Benji? Seems like Ethan and Eva have feelings for each other!”
 
Benji:
 
“Well, you know what, Luther? I could really go for that Eva broad myself!”
 
Luther:
 
“No kidding, Benji? No kidding?”
 
Benji:
 
“Just don´t tell anyone, Luther! Please!”
 
Luther:
 
“No sweat, Benji. Don´t worry. My lips are sealed!”
 
A half hour later we find Ethan and Eva sitting together at a table in a café inside the Beltway. Eva takes a bite of her éclair with a fork. Ethan sips his cappuccino.
 
Eva:
 
“You know what, Ethan? I feel like a brand, new woman after that adventure down in Cuba. That spanking experience was so – so – liberating! And – I´m not talking about the liberation of Cuba! I´m talking about my own liberation! I´ve finally woken up and realized who – and what – I really am! The truth is that I am not a sub at all – even though I thought I was for all the time since that wonderful evening in Stockholm six years ago!”
 
Ethan:
 
“What kind of an evening was that? What are you talking about?”
 
Eva:
 
“Oh. I was in Stockholm in the summer of the year 2010 – I was filming a movie. The movie was never finished. Because I kept forgetting my lines. The movie that never was – heh, heh! But I did get something valuable from the experience. Even though the movie was aborted.
 
“Since I kept forgetting my lines over, and over again – the producer and the director sent me to a local professional disciplinarian for a thrashing! Which was supposed to motivate me to do better. Well – the disciplinarian – a guy named Micke Sträng – did indeed give me a thrashing. Twelve of the very best! And – that strict caning sure woke me up! Afterwards I felt just wonderful. For – I suddenly realized that I had been a closet spanko all those years! Only I had never worked up the courage to admit it to myself. I had for years and years, repressed my BDSM-related fantasies and urgings! Oh – all those wasted years!
 
“But that wonderful guy – Micke – or was his name perhaps really Henke? He gave me my wake-up call – in the form of twelve scorchers. And afterwards he was so nice to me – he even invited me into his bed!
 
“But you know what, Ethan? There was one thing which confused me. When he first opened the door after I rang on his doorbell – he told me clearly that his name was Micke Sträng. But later – when we were cuddling together in his big double bed – he whispered in my ear that I should call him `Henke´! That sure was weird.
 
“But – anyway – I made a mistake that summer. After Micke´s – or Henke´s – wonderful thrashing - I leapt to the conclusion that I was a sub.
 
“But – Ethan! Now I know – for sure – that I am really, in truth – a domme! Not a sub! Now - I realize that I was made to give – rather than to receive!”
 
Ethan (leaning in close to Eva and almost whispering in her ear):
 
“You know what, Eva? I suspect that more people than we can imagine carry repressed fantasies and urgings! Take me, for example. Outwardly I´m a hunk. An alpha male. But on the inside – I´m a little boy. Longing for an alpha female to take me in hand!
 
“Eva! When I came upon you spanking the heck out of that Castro guy down there in the arena in Cuba – I felt a surge of lust in my loins – and a rush of blood to my head. I – I – I felt in that moment that I wanted to be that Castro guy who was draped over your knee and receiving your attentions, Eva!
 
“You know what, Eva? I don´t think that I was born to be an alpha male! No! I was really born to be a sub! A little boy taken in hand. And I just began to wake up to this truth down there in Cuba. You showed me the truth, Eva! Does that make sense to you?”
 
Eva (pouting):
 
“Ethan, Ethan. You have indeed been a bad boy! Keeping all those dreams and urges of yours all cooped up inside of you! Any decent psychologist could have told you that repression isn´t good for you, Ethan. You bad, bad boy!
 
“But hey Ethan! I´ve got an idea. Why don´t you and I go home to my place right now? And why don´t I spank that nasty repression stuff out of your neurotic soul. I´d just love to spank your naughty little boy botty, Ethan! C´mon - let´s go right now!”
 
A few moments later Eva escorts Ethan out of the café. They are headed to her place!
 
The day after that is the last workday before the national holiday which had just been declared for the sake of celebrating the liberation of Cuba. The MIF team is assembled in their headquarters in Washington D.C. Alan, Ethan, Luther, Benji, Jane and Eva.
 
Alan opens the meeting:
 
“Good morning, guys – and gals. Due to recent developments – down in Cuba, specifically. I have decided that we must re-evaluate some of our personnel´s roles in our organisation. As you know, Ethan received a medal from the POTUS for that successful mission.
 
“Now – I mean no disrespect towards Ethan. But all of us here are aware that it was Eva who took the decisive initiative in the middle of the mission – and rendered the mission a resounding success. In light of this most fortunate circumstance – I have reached the conclusion that we should replace Ethan with Eva - as our MIF team leader in the field!
 
“So – Ethan. I want to thank you for your valuable services in past missions. But now we need to make room for new blood!”
 
Ethan speaks up:
 
“I could not agree with you more, Alan! Eva has awesome leadership qualities! I really ought to stand back and make room for her! Congratulations Eva. You deserve this! C´mon everyone – let´s hear it for Eva – the new field operations leader of MIF! Hear! Hear!”
 
The entire room echoes with cheers and applause.
 
Alan is amazed to see that there is nada friction and jealousy engendered by the reorganization.
 
Alan:
 
“Well, this reorganization sure went smoothly! No friction or hard feelings at all. So – let´s all welcome Eva to her well-deserved post as team leader in the field. Three cheers for Eva!”
 
The entire team (in unison):
 
“Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!”
 
Twenty minutes later – the members of the MIF team are sitting together in the headquarters canteen ready to eat lunch.
 
Ethan: “You know, everybody – I feel like a load has been lifted from my shoulders. And I´m eager to follow Eva wherever she leads. I feel like I´m in good hands when Eva´s the leader.”
 
Alan, Luther, Benji and Jane noticed something peculiar in Ethan´s eyes whenever he looked at Eva.
 
Luther was the first to work up the nerve to say anything about it:
 
“Hey, Ethan! Something special happened yesterday evening – involving you and Eva. Isn´t that right? Don´t try to hide it, Ethan.”
 
Ethan sighs and speaks:
 
“Yeah, everybody. I´ve finally come to realize that I wasn´t meant to lead. I was meant to follow. I´m meant to follow Eva, specifically. I began to suspect it down in Cuba – when Eva was dealing with Castro. And I learned it for sure last evening – back at Eva´s place. Eva is meant to be my boss! My domme - I mean!”
 
Benji:
 
“You lucky s.o.b., Ethan! I know just how you feel. If only I could find myself a domme like Eva to take me in hand! Sigh. Well – that sentiment of mine doesn´t surprise anyone does it? I´ve always come across as a bit of a wimp in the past – haven´t I?
 
“But you, Ethan! The super-tough alpha male – the leader of the pack! You of all people! Secretly longing for a strong female to spank your bare botty for all those years. Who would have suspected it?
 
“Eva did spank your naughty bare botty last night - didn´t she?”
 
Ethan:
 
“And it was the best thing that´s ever happened to me in my life, Benji! From now on my role in the MIF will be to serve as Eva´s flunky! You know – Eva´s `adjutant´ I´ll be called.
 
“Hey – Eva! Which was more fun – for you, I mean? To spank me last night – or to spank Castro down there in Cuba a couple of weeks ago?”
 
Alan, Luther, Benji and Jane (in unison):
 
“Trick question! Trick question!”
 
Eva:
 
“Aw – c´mon! That isn´t even a question! But of course, it was much more satisfying – and therefore fun – to spank Castro! Because there was a great big audience! Naughty boys are never really punished sufficiently unless there is some major embarrassment involved in the punishment.
 
“But I´ll be honest with you all – since we´re friends. I only got off when I spanked Ethan. Because it was really personal and private. Spanking that Castro piece of filth was just a job! A fun job, to be sure. But still just a job.”
 
The talking-shop-cum-lunch continues for another half hour. Then the gang of professional colleagues-cum-friends break up for the sake of going home. There is no work after lunch since the following day is going to be a holiday.
 
As they are walking out, we overhear Jane whispering to Benji:
 
“Hey – Benji boy! What you said earlier in there while we were eating lunch – that thing about how you long for a domme `like Eva to take you in hand´. I know full well that I am not an equally tough broad as Eva.
 
“But, but Benji - do you think there´s a chance that I might be good enough for you? Ever since I was in fourth grade I´ve had recurring fantasies of having a naughty boy of my own to keep in line. And I really like you Benji. You´re a genuine man – in your own peculiar way!”
 
Benji and Jane didn´t realize it – but Luther was not far behind them – so he overheard Jane´s whispered words of affection to Benji!
 
Luther, to himself:
 
“Aw crap! My rotten luck! Why am I always the odd man out? I sure as heck hope that I can have some luck with Ilsa – if, and when I run into her again!”
 

CONCLUSION

Hey, all you dorks out there! Keep your chins up! No “mission of love” is ever impossible! Just never say die – that´s all!
 

THE END